Movie Review: MIAMI VICE Author: Mac Johnson Saturday, August 29, 2006 U.S. Release Date: July 28, 2006 Distributor: Universal Director: Michael Mann Writing Credits: Michael Mann Cast: Colin Farrell, Jamie Fox, et al. Genre: Action Drama MPAA Rating: R OFFICIAL WEBSITE: www.miamivice.com/ TRAILERS: Via www.apple.com./trailers From the moment I heard this movie was going to made until the night I watched it, I’ve wondered if it was really necessary or worthy. After watching it, the verdict is certainly in- it wasn’t necessary, but it is worthy- of a Razzie. This show (I refuse to even type the title) wasn’t even a good T.V. program. Don’t review the ratings it received back in the 80‘s, the number of seasons it hung around, the effect it had on fashion in the 80’s (isn’t that reason enough to never bring it back). The numbers do not interest me. The real stars of that program were the cars, boats, hot chicks, and beautiful scenery. That alone makes it no better than Baywatch. Much the same can be said of the movie version (minus the hot chicks). Tibbs and Croquet or Cricket and Flopps, or whatever their names are, simply act as emotional vacuums- monotone dialogue, expressionless faces- while the best moves are made by the Ferrari, the guns, airplanes, but that only holds interest for so long. I’ve always enjoyed Jamie Foxx’s comedic work, and after watching Collateral and Ray, I really believed that the quality of projects that he accepted would only go up. I was wrong. The attraction of blockbuster paydays must really be tough to reject because this project is beneath him. The dignity, vulnerability, and emotion that he injected into the previously mentioned roles were nowhere to be found here. Jamie had the ability to make you root for his previous characters; this one barely generates ambivalence. That’s the bad news. The good news, for Jamie, is that Colin Farrell manages to give a performance that is even worse. Mr. Farrell blessed us with two hours of film and never smiled, frowned, smirked, whispered, shouted. The big dog in Turner and Hooch was more complex. I’m not asking for something that he doesn’t have. If it was Jean-Claude Van Darn, I would understand, but Colin Farrell passes himself off as a real actor. I remember watching Phone Booth, and he exuded some chops. When Farrell’s character, Stu, felt guilt, I felt it. Fear. Shame. Regret. Pride. Yes, he communicated all of them. A statue on wheels with a pseudo-mullet would have sufficed for Miami V…..ooops, I wasn’t going to type the title. The lone bright spot of this flop is the possibility that it keeps Jerry Bruckheimer from making the movie version of CHiPs. Although if they want to make that movie with a twist, they could change it to California Sidewalk Patrol. Then cast Tom Cruise in the lead role, so every pursuit of criminals could be a foot chase, and Tom could run to his heart’s content. Now that is a movie! PAUL’S GRADE: F Paul Coffland is the business manager and a writer/reviewer for ON-FILM.NET. Send feedback to pcoffland@houston.rr.com.